If that was your dad, he is hot
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
