I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
