hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
