The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
