Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
