Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
