Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
