Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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