We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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