I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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