I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
