just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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