It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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