DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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