guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
