Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
