I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
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