I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
