can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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