All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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