he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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