sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
i now understand why vodka
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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