I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize