i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
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I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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