It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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