I wish I could teleport
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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