I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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