drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
