drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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