All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
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If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
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I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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