Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
