he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
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