like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
