I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
