Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
