so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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