Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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