Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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