If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
