I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I need to calm my uterus...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
