Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize