His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
