Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize