Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
