umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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