Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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