Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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