I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
