Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize