I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
