OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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