She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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