If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
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