We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
