it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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