she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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