would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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