Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize