Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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