Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
