Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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