I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
