I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
do nipples grow back?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
