Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize