I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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